Dance is over. No more recitals or hairspray or quick changes. No more helping the little girls find their beginning poses or fixing their make up because their moms are clueless..
No more double layered tights or broken toe nails or ridiculous makeup. No more breaks in between shows where you go to get food and hang out with everyone. No more injuries or sickness.
Back stage is literally the one place on earth that I feel I belong. It’s so comforting watching the dancers from the wings, telling them good job as they run off gasping for air. Those 10 seconds in the darkness, when you’re in your pose, before the lights shine on you… it’s an indescribable rush. I cried for the first time on stage today. I couldn’t handle the thought of leaving that behind.
This is so irrelevant but it’s such a huge goodbye in my life. I really don’t know what I’m going to do.
On a happier note: the neighbors are having a fiesta and Kaela is coming tomorrow.
This is my last weekend of recitals ever. It’s crazy. I’m not ready to let go of dance yet. Everyone’s summer starts when school is out, but mine has always started a week later because I’ve had recitals every weekend directly after school was out since I was little. This year I have my solo and so many other dances. Also, my last dance on stage is with my dad. I have a little spot in my soul where my hatred for him burns, but despite that, I will be emotional. I’m going to be so exhausted, wow. So much happy, yet so many bittersweet feelings going on inside me. Done.
It's been a hectic few months for you, but I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. For being able to deal with school, dance, and my happy ass.
Congratulations on graduation, angel. <3 I'll see you in five days!
You’re the best, baby. I can’t wait til you’re here. Meow.