Fucking HATE those motherfucking camel crickets!! One morning I got out of bed feeling as though I had a good night's sleep. When I looked down at where I was laying, there was a squashed camel cricket right about where my shoulders had been. My reaction was about like yours. I feel your pain and I'm so sorry you had to go through that awfully horrible situation. It does get better.
HAHAHAHAHA oh god. That was the funniest thing ever. I think one squashed by your shoulder is worse than my toe. If that happened to me I’d move out. Luckily, they’re mostly in my basement. I’ve seen a total of three in my room in the past few months and I squashed those mother fuckers.
And also, thank you for your support. It helps to know someone has lived through a similar situation.